GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — The recent death of 61-year-old Aleta Lung in her Grand Rapids apartment has cast a spotlight on the ongoing epidemic of domestic violence that continues to affect lives in West Michigan and across the nation. Police suspect that Lung was murdered by her boyfriend, 47-year-old Randy Buckner, whose arrest in New Mexico has brought attention to the destructive cycle of abuse.
Lung’s daughters, La’Janette and Loretta Russell, recall the complex and often hidden dynamics of their mother’s relationship. Though they feared something was wrong, they could not identify the full extent of the abuse. According to La’Janette, their mother often spoke of troubling statements made by Buckner. “That’s not something someone would say who truly cared about you,” she remarked. Lung’s behavior further reflected signs of emotional abuse. Her daughters remember her expressing relief after breaking up with Buckner, only for them to reconcile soon after in secrecy.
Police discovered Lung’s body last Wednesday after they believed she had been dead for two or three days. Investigators later tracked Buckner driving Lung’s car across state lines and arrested him. As police dug into his history, they found that Buckner had previously been involved in a domestic violence incident at Lung’s home, during which she expressed concerns for her safety.
The tragic story is a familiar one to advocates like Priscilla Bordayo, a Michigan-based sexual assault survivor turned advocate. She explained that many victims of abuse experience a gradual escalation, starting with mental manipulation that turns into verbal and physical abuse. “You hear and see a lot of things start off with mental abuse. It becomes verbal and then it turns into physical,” Bordayo said, stressing the importance of early intervention.
Rachel VerWys, CEO of the nonprofit Safe Haven Ministries in Grand Rapids, echoed these sentiments, stating that the circumstances surrounding Lung’s death are all too common. “The death of someone makes us wrestle with the stark reality that this is happening every day in our community in terms of abuse,” VerWys said.
Bordayo added that abusers often isolate their victims from friends and family, making it difficult for outsiders to detect the signs of abuse. “They feel like this is love,” she said. “They feel like they’re trapped, they feel like they don’t have the resources or have a place to go and get the help they need.”
Domestic violence often remains hidden, leaving loved ones unaware of the extent of the harm until it is too late. Advocates urge family and friends to be proactive if they suspect something is wrong. Bordayo recommends that loved ones reach out, offering themselves as a safe space for victims to express their concerns. “Let them know you’re a safe place,” she advised. “That you believe them. That you’re there for them.”
In addition to providing emotional support, Bordayo stressed that resources are available for domestic violence victims. These services can assist with everything from medical bills and lost wages to counseling and rehabilitation. She urged survivors to take advantage of victim compensation programs to help them rebuild their lives after experiencing abuse.
As the community grapples with the loss of Aleta Lung, advocates continue their work to raise awareness and ensure that survivors have the support they need to escape abusive relationships. The message is clear: domestic violence must be recognized early, addressed with compassion, and met with the full support of communities committed to preventing future tragedies.
